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Monday, October 4, 2010

Excerpt of a Novel

I decided to dedicate this post to my new novel that I am writing. Since I have been actively writing and submitting to agents, I thought it would be nice to give everyone a chance to get a preview of my new novel and hopefully get some feed back.

Let me give you the preamble:  This is probably not the kind of writing a lot of you would expect from me. That said, I hope I pleasantly surprise you.  Lightweight (It's a working title),  is a YA novel about a high school boy who is in a gang.  Tony wants a better life, a better future then what he sees around him, and will stop at nothing to get it.  Getting out of the ghetto isn't going to be easy though, and breaking free of the gang can be deadly.  This is a work in progress so this is only a draft. Please pardon any mistakes in this draft. Feel free to add a comment and let me know what you think.

Working title:  Lightweight


Chapter One The Fight#
The punch came before I saw it coming. I saw his fist in front of my face and the next thing I knew I felt was his fist smash against my jaw. I never felt such pain. I swear I saw stars. I didn't have time to focus on the stars dancing around my head because I felt my body smash against the brick wall behind me. I lifted my arms to block my face, I need to ward off his powerful angry blow at my face. I knew I couldn't stand much more. I thought about how I got here. It was stupid really, if you really thought about it. All I did was try to do the right thing.
Flash back#
I saw Jose bothering this poor girl sitting alone outside by the steps at lunch reading a book. I told Jose to leave her alone, she was minding her own business. I saw no need to cause trouble that day. I wasn't in the mood.
You're not needed here Tony, get out of here. I'm busy. Can you see I'm talking to Michelle here?”
I saw Michelle hunch her shoulders trying to ignore Jose and go back to her book.
She doesn't look like she wants to talk to you Jose.” Tony stood between them.
Come on Michelle, put the book down and let's go for a walk. What do you say?” Jose said trying to take the book out of Michelle's hand.
I'd rather not.” Michelle said bravely looking up at Jose.
That's enough Jose.” I said getting upset.
Come on Michelle, let's go to the parking lot.” Jose grabbed Michelle's arm and pulled her along.
Leave her alone.” I pulled Jose's arms off of Michelle.
Stop being such a wimp. You can have some too, I'll share.” Jose smiled.
Don't even think about it Jose.” I glared at him.
Hey, here come's Kevin. Move it.” Jose said before running off.
I'm sorry about that. Are you okay?” I picked up Michelle's book that dropped on the floor.
I'm fine. Thank you.” Michelle smiled shyly.
Hey, Michelle, this low life bothering you?” Kevin stormed over from the cafeteria doors.
No. Kevin. I'm fine.” Michelle started to answer.
Get the hell away from my sister you scumbag.” Kevin spat and stood in front Michelle.
Kevin, you got it all wrong.” I tried to explain.
Oh do I?” Kevin laughed looking at his friends for support.
No body comes near my sister do you understand me?”
You really don't want to do this Kevin. My brothers will back me.”
I'm not afraid of your gang.” Kevin stared at him.
You should be.”
I don't see your gang members here to back you up now?” Kevin laughed.
You're lucky then aren't you? Because if your looking for a fight, you just got one.” I stepped into Kevin's face and glaring at him. If he thought I was scared of him he didn't know who he was dealing with. I've dealt with much worse then him.
I don't a fight with your gang. I want a fight with you.” Kevin said not backing down.
You got it then. Meet me here at five o'clock.”


Present Time#
I staggered at the next blow. I regained my balance and faced Kevin. Now he pissed me off. I charged at him and forced him against the same brick wall he had thrown me into. The guy could fight. I hadn't expected that he would be able to fight back so well. I've had my fair share of fights and I have won every one of them. My opponent usually ran home crying with a bloody nose, broken ribs, or arm. This guy was different though, I couldn't break him. I wailed at his face, and his gut. I tried to get him in a chock hold, but he kept coming back. I knew it wasn't because of his sister he fought, he liked to fight, and he was good at it. I lost the upper hand again and I blocked my face and danced around him as he kept coming at me.
I could hear the crowd around us now cheering us on. Who they were cheering for I couldn't tell and I really didn't care. Kevin and I were locked together, we both fought for the upper hand. There was no tricks here, not now. Right now it was all a matter of who was stronger, who could keep up the endurance. Our eyes locked, our breathing was heavy and labored and as each second passed, I could feel us both weakening. I held on to him, tightening my hold as I felt his tighten his on me.
Then there were arms yelling at us, pulling us apart. Screaming to get off each other and to knock it off. As if it were that easy. Suddenly I was free of Kevin's grasp and he was free from mine. I glared at him as someone pulled my arms behind me pulling me away as I tried to lung at Kevin again. A large blond man was pulling Kevin back off me, pinning his arms behind him as Kevin tried to lung for me.
Knock it off I said damn it.” The blond man yelled as he pulled Kevin further away from me.
Settle down now.” The blond man look at each of us. “The show is over everyone, go home. Go on, get out of here.” The man behind me shouted to the crowd who came to see us fight.
I left my body slump against the man holding me back, but only enough to get my footing before I stood tall and broke free of the man. I turned on him ready to fight.
Go for him Tony.” Jose and George cheered me now. “But I was tired and only wanted to make sure that he wasn't going to lung at me. I stared at the man willing him to attack me, ready to prove that I was still ready to fight if I had to. By this time the blond man had let go of Kevin and Kevin paced in a small area spitting blood out of his mouth.
Get out of here boys.” The man who held me back said to Jose and George.
You don't tell us what to do.” George sauntered up to the man ready to fight.
One fight for tonight is enough.” The blond man said waking up to us.
Get out of here before I call the cops.” The blond man glared at all of us.
we're going, were going.” Jose said pulling my arm and George along with him.
I was tired, but I was still ready to fight, and I walked backward a few feet watching them until I was sure they weren't going to follow and attack. I caught a glimpse of Michelle standing away from the dwindling crowd standing with a few friends. She stared at me as I walked backward our eyes met. I turned then and walked faster trying to catch to Jose and George and the rest of the gang up ahead. 
 Like what you read so far?  If so let me hear from from you.

 

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